...A Conversation with My 17-Yr Old Self

This “conversation” took place after the first day of a Mathematical Modeling class that is required in Naval Post Graduate School.  I came here to learn about Irregular Warfare, Counter-Terrorist Policies, Dark Networks, Wicked Problems, Security Dilemmas.  And then to apply all that and more towards a thesis…probably something relating to building networks within the inter-agency to successfully counter international terrorism.  Or something equally intriguing (I usually input a heavy dose of sarcasm when I use the word “intriguing”…but not in this case, it actually is intriguing.) 

I came here to learn to surf.  I did not come here to learn Mathematical Modeling. 

So this is how the conversation went down with my 17-yr old self:

34-Yr Old Me:  Hey, pssst, 17-Yr Old Me…Gonna need your help here.  See I’m back in school and I have to take a couple math classes.  You were always really good at math so can you do me a solid here and help me out?

17-Yr Old Me:  You’re back in school?  In California?  Awesome!  And I love math so I’m here for ya!  What type of math are you doing?  Differential Calculus?  Computational Theory?  Oh geez you’re not in to Non-Linear Dynamics in Applied Mathematics, are you?  Because I’ll be no help there but I’d love to learn!

34 Yr Old Me:  Um…No.  More like “A train left Chicago…” type of math

17-Yr Old Me:  Haha.  Funny.  Seriously, what are you doing?  Propulsion Dynamics?  Chaos Theory in Relation to Orbital Physics?

34-Yr Old Me:  No, seriously.  “A boat travels with the current at 16 mph and against it at 7 mph.  How fast is the current?”  Help me out here, I can’t figure it out.

17-Yr Old Me:  Wow, you’re serious aren’t you?  Did you hit your head?  Get in a horrible accident?  What happened?  We were going to be an Aerospace Engineer, remember?  REMEMBER??!!

34-Yr Old Me:  Well, you see, what had happened was…you’re not an Aerospace Engineer…

17-Yr Old Me:  Electrical Engineer?  Mechanical Engineer?  C’mon, you didn’t drop all the way down to Civil Engineer did you?

34-Yr Old Me:  You’re not an engineer…

17-Yr Old Me:  WHAT?!  I’M NOT AN ENGINEER?!  WHAT THE HELL??!!  WHAT DID YOU DO??!!  I CAN’T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A MINUTE, CAN I, BEFORE YOU GO AND SCREW UP OUR WHOLE PLAN??!!

34-Yr Old Me:  Hold on there Molly McJudge-Me-A-Lot.  You have no idea where you’re going in the next 17 years so get your attitude in check.  

17-Yr Old Me:  OK fine, so where am I going?

34-Yr Old Me:  I’m not telling you, but trust me, it’s a helluavalot more interesting than being a stoopid Aerospace Engineer.  So there.

17-Yr Old Me:  You’re not going to tell me??  Fine.  Then I won’t help you with pre-algebra.  Good luck in remedial math, dummass.

34-Yr Old Me:  Ya, and good luck in Calculus.  Cause you're gonna need it...