...18 Yr Old Apple Employees

SCENE:  The Genius Bar at the Apple Store.  Yes..."The Genius Bar"

34-Yr Old Relatively Intelligent and Technologically Competent Individual:  Hi!  I accidentally deleted a bunch of photos off my iPhone 5 that I took yesterday.  How can I get those back?

18-Yr Old Hipster Apple Employee:  Hmmm...do you mind if I look at your phone?

Me:  Sure no problem.  Here you go...

Her:  OK so you deleted some pictures off your Camera Roll and you want to get them back.  (She clicks on the Photo Stream) Are these it?

Me:  Um...No.  (But thank you for insulting my intelligence) I had not yet connected to a wireless signal before I deleted them so they hadn't uploaded to Photo Stream (I say this with the false hope she will realize she's not dealing with a recent escapee from an Amish village)

Her:  Did you back it up?

Me:  (Ok apparently not).  Um...No.  Thats my point.  (If I backed them up would I be standing at the Genius Bar asking for your Genius Support?)

Her:  Well if you didn't back them up and they're not on the Photo Stream then there is nothing we can do.

Me:  Really.  In all the technology that Apple has created there is no way they can recover accidentally deleted photos?  The company that developed the iPod?  That has transformed the cell phone?  That has completely revolutionized how humans interact with technology?  There's nothing you can do?

Her:  No I’m sorry that’s what backup is for.

Me:  (Resisting the urge to come across the Genius Bar and assure her I fully understand the concept of the “backup”)  I find that hard to believe.

Her:  Well it’s like when you delete pictures off a digital camera…they’re gone.  I’m sorry.

Me:  (Ok kid, I may be in my 30’s but the clarity of long distance phone calls does not amaze me).  Well that’s the funny thing, when you delete pictures off a digital camera they’re not gone.  They Are Still On The Camera (seriously, have you never watched Snapped??)

Her:  Well to get them back the device would have to be sent out.

Me:  So…it’s not impossible?  So saying it was impossible was the easy answer when I walked up (NOTE:  12 hrs ago I accepted the fact that these pictures were gone.  At this point it’s the principle).  So how do I get them back? 

Her:  Um I’ve never heard of this problem before (seriously?  No one has come to you and said they accidentally deleted something off their phone) (she starts typing “iPhone lost data” into her iPad…I’m sure this amazes the Amish…as does running water)

Me:  SERIOUSLY?  ARE YOU GOOGLING IT??  You don’t think I spent the entire night last night trying to figure this out??!!  (At this point my mom walks away to avoid being associated with the irate 30-something)

Her:  I’m sorry, that’s the only thing I can do.

Me:  Wow.  (Again resisting the urge to come across the Genius Bar and explain what minimally financed government agencies can do with cell phones, I simply walk away)

Her:  (Talking to the lady in line behind me who apparently tied up her horse and buggy just outside)  OK no problem, so you’re having problems updating your contact list.  I’d be happy to help.  Let me have a look…